LIFE: through the eyes of a servant

Do You Ever Wonder?

2010-05-02T23:48:00.006-05:00

Chorus:

Do you ever wonder

What's it all for?

Do you ever wonder

That there's gotta be more?

Do you ever wonder

If this is all you've got in store?

Do you ever wonder

What's behind another door?

Verse 1:

Oh, He's set eternity on the hearts of man!

Causing them to call out for something bigger

We were made for more than where we've been

Is it ever enough, what this world's got to offer?

Bridge:

Oh, I'm living for something worth dying for!

Caught up in a life of epic proportions

'Cause He died so that I could live!

Yeah . . . .

Verse 2:

He's calling out to you, knocking on your heart

Says come and join the adventure

How do we know our part? Where to start?

Die to self, exchange your small ambitions for the bigger picture

(written 3 years ago i think)

don't Give Up on Love

2010-05-02T18:15:00.005-05:00

love. why is it the thing so many people mess up even though it's the most important thing in life? i think it's because they give up on love. innately, they know what a grandiose thing it is. but, maybe because they've seen it fail or fall short so many times, they give up that its grandeur can be reached. now, love has failed because of sin - not because of its nature. "Love never fails." I Cor. 13:8. in other words, the error lies in humans and not in love. yet, people give up on love. they think, whether consciously or not, that it is not attainable. and why try for something that is impossible to reach? so they decide, basically, that they'll take what they can get - at least try for a lesser love because it's the only love that can be had, and a lesser love is still love and better than no love at all. now, whether this thought process is thoroughly thought through depends upon the individual. nontheless, person after person shows it over and over in action. my question, then, is - well, why did God create us with such capacity for love if it was not meant to be attained? even more, He put such a deep-rooted longing and desire for not just second-rate love, but the whole, real thing. my answer is - yes, He did. we are made for it aren't we? He put such desires in us not so we could see ourselves fall short of it over and over again, but for the very purpose of desires - to point, then lead us into something that is bigger than ourselves which we would not have seen otherwise. desires, in their purest form, weren't meant to create a hole of lacking in us; they are meant to lead us to being whole.

(written April, 2008)

the Mystery of Love

2009-09-06T23:17:00.007-05:00

Love.

How can we know truly what it is? What is love? It is defined, but surpasses definition. It is feeling, but supersedes experience. It is taught, but can it ever be learned to it's farthest corners? They say love is round, like a ring- it never ends, never begins. But to some it's like the mountains- recesses to discover, mystery to seek, beauty to admire; the peaks most challenging to climb are the most worth it every rock of the way. Can the mountains ever be fully known? But yet they can be defined; they can be felt. To encounter some is not to encounter all; it is to understand their heart; it is to know why.

2009-09-01T23:58:00.006-05:00

Psalm 5

He invites us into His house. Though, we cannot come if there be any arrogance in us. We must come, bowing low in reverence to the King.

"The arrogant cannot stand in [His] presence." But the humbled can bow in His house. It is better to bow than to stand because bowing means that at least I am at the doorstep of God's house, rather than in the desert standing apart from the King.

vs. 8 - It may not seem that there is any good way out. But the way out is a hidden path to many; it is through the tunnel of righteousness.

(a beautiful time of worship when the Sam Houston team came)

2009-09-01T00:07:00.004-05:00

WANTED: Sun. Missing for a week. Please report any sightings. Big reward for details leading to whereabouts.

(actual picture i took here in Chile)

went for a run today. saw a single, faint ray of light prying its way out through the clouds over the ocean as if to say, "the Sun is still here. just because you can't see the Sun doesn't mean it isn't here. the Sun has been here all along, and it will be revealed again soon enough."

Thoughts on Satisfaction (& Peace)

2009-08-09T07:50:00.011-05:00

When you're reaching for temporal things to satisfy...

The things that really satisfy don't seem satisfying, and the things that really don't satisfy seem satisfying.

"As a rule, man's a fool.

When it's hot, he wants it cool;

When it's cool, he wants it hot,

Always wanting what is not."

what do i mean when i say i worship God?

2009-03-19T22:23:00.007-05:00

worship. what is worship? do we worship? how do we worship? worship. it is running to the heartbeat of God. it is holding a small child when she is crying. it is waking up with a deep breath in and an exhale of the will. it is laughing. it is smiling. it is crying when i’m lost. it is crying when those around me are lost. it is praying on my knees, in my car, at the grocery store. it is living in wealth. it is living in poverty. it is singing through the hard times and sitting in silence. it is keeping watch and letting go. it is seeing beauty and understanding pain.

worship is . . . in all these things! it is not separate from them. through them, in them - we worship. because it’s not about what we do or how we sound; it’s about who. who do we worship? the One we worship tells us He is in all. He says through Him all things are created - He upholds the very structure of the universe.

maybe the question is why. maybe we have to answer that before we answer what. but the why is answered in the who. the who impels worship, which is the what.

what is worship? - who is God?

do i know Him? have i met with Him?

SUCCESS

2009-03-05T11:07:00.003-06:00

what if success was defined by worship to God? . . . . . in doing that, did i worship Him with everything i had?

can't get no Satisfaction

2009-03-05T10:59:00.004-06:00

If it's about people and things, then that is what you will find your satisfaction in. You will get it, and it won't be enough.

If it's about God, then He is what you will find your satisfaction in. You will get it and always find more!

Psalm 145:6

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

(i'm freaking out about that! he satisfies our longings out of is own hand)

Chasing the Wind

2009-03-04T14:38:00.009-06:00

Sometimes we live life like we're chasing the wind. We fill our lives with one thing that feels nice and pleasing until it ends. Then we look and wait until we can find the next gratifying thing to fill our time with.

I remember being a kid in a neighborhood full of other kids who loved the endless possibilities of playing outdoors. We could play imaginary games for hours on end, stopping only when we were called in by our mothers or from pure exhaustion. There were those times in the hot summers when we just couldn't make our legs move around anymore. In my front yard were three towering pine trees huddled together. The neighborhood kids, my two brothers, and I would gather under those pine trees because the wind, whether it was in our imaginative minds or not, blew stronger and cooler there. We knew we could find refreshing amidst the pines, and then we could go back to making fun for ourselves.

Well, aren't we like that sometimes? Chasing the wind. The wind can't really be chased. We can feel it. We can find where it blows the strongest. But we can't catch it. We can't really follow it. It's too elusive. We know it's there because we can feel its effects- something we all learned as children. The wind provides refreshing in the uncomfortable heat of the summer. But it's always moving on. It's there; then it isn't. We can enjoy and appreciate it while it lasts, and even search it out in the shadows. Even so, when the wind is gone on those sizzling summer days, so is our pleasure in it.

When we search for fulfillment in things that don't last, our delight fades along with them. Yet, we do it. We do it because we know we can find immediate, yet temporary refreshing under the pines when what we really need is to stop playing and get in the air conditioning and drink 8 oz. of water and have some home-cooked macaroni and cheese with chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Then, we'll have the energy we need to go back out and play hard. We can play hours longer this time. We don't have to crowd beneath the pines periodically for reenergizing. We have water in our veins and food in our bellies.

thoughts on Beauty (it's Good to Think about)

2009-02-24T23:06:00.008-06:00

A. Crimson. Piece. Of. The. Sky. And. Land. Melted. Together.

Bright red lines the horizon, and it's beautiful! It's the kind of beauty that's startling, then stunning. Then it causes wonder in the heart of the beholder-- how could this beauty be so sharp, yet so pleasing to the senses that I want to soak up every moment in which my eyes are laid upon it?

Sleepwalker (a song)

2009-02-23T22:35:00.006-06:00

Got up this morning

But something wasn't quite right

Things were a little off

Did my usual morning routine

But I knew it was somehow all wrong

Thought I heard someone call my name

Calling me to something more, to something real

But this is all so real

I know what I'm doing

I know what I want out of life

To be secure and successful

It's only a couple steps away

I can almost touch it

Went about the day

Doing what I usually do

Went to class, talked with friends

Then I had a little break

I was just gonna sit and think about nothin'

But then I heard it again

Thought I heard someone call my name

Calling me to something more, to something real

It was louder this time

But this is real

I do know what I'm doing, don't I?

I do know what I want out of life, don't I?

To be secure and successful

It's only a couple steps away

I can almost touch it

I realized it is all wrong This, this isn't real

I don't know what I'm doing

I don't know what I want out of life

I'm so alone

So I answered that voice calling my name

Then I woke up

Had it been a dream?

I had been asleep

But it all seemed so real

The voice was clear now

God, You're calling me

God, You're calling my name

You were all along

Well, I'm here

I was in a dream, just sleep walking

"Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light."

(Ephesians 5:14)

Chile Story

2009-02-19T18:45:00.007-06:00

Would you like to make an impact in the kingdom of God? It's a support raising chili cook-off this weekend (Feb. 21st) and you're invited. Check it out here!

Ike Wasn't All Good, But Ike Wasn't All Bad Either...

2009-02-17T23:30:00.004-06:00

A hurricane in Huntsville

I got to know my neighbors well. Instead of imagining what fits into their ambiguous personhoods, I now know kindness and warmth as pieces of their character. I know a bit about their lives and they know a bit about mine. They helped me; I helped them. We shared, we talked, we laughed, we worried . . . together.
I had a great excuse to leave the doors and windows open and breach the barrier between manmade and God-made, recycled air and fresh air, constraint and freedom . . . well, anyway. At night, lying next to my open bedroom window, I relished the sounds usually partitioned from me- tree frogs calling to each other (my favorite), crickets generating song, the wind through the tree branches. Clatter I had learned as a child to be true night.
Candles are warming. Who doesn't love a candlelit room?
This is a given: quality time. As in time to be creative instead of leaving it to technology. We played the newlywed game. There were no newlyweds among us. Oh, and the songs we crafted about Hurricane Ike out of restless creativity? Priceless.
If you give a mouse a cookie . . . My story: if you give a girl some bug bites, it will make her remember being always outdoors as a kid. If she remembers being outdoors as a kid, she will want to quietly reminisce about such romantic times. When she wants to quietly and gleefully reminisce, she will need a place in which to sit. If you offer her a place in which to sit, she will request a spot outside so she can feel the breeze. When she's outside entranced in historical thought, she'll become susceptible to bug bites . . . . . . . Being one with the outdoors was kind of nice. Certain aromas reunite some people with their past. I guess that's bug bites for me.
I walked. Walking is great exercise. Also good for the mind and soul.
I had one good barbeque. Best I've eaten in a while actually.
I got to see all the residents of Huntsville. 'Cause they were at H.E.B. and Wal- Mart when I was.

So Ike, even though we already shared a name, we shared much more: trouble and calm, darkness and refreshing, bad and blessing. Through it all, Goodness prevailed.

A tree must slumber in the winter to be healthy again in the spring. Just like its branches become cracked, weathered, and lifeless, so we faced a solemn outlook. But also like green buds sprouting in the first Spring thaw, shoots of good found their way through our storm. You weren't all bad, Ike. You weren't good, but you weren't all bad either.

Appropriate for V-Day...I think?

2009-02-15T01:59:00.003-06:00

How passionate is the end of Judges 10?!!?

You can really see the hurt and fury and passionate love of God.

If this were a scene played out in a movie between a man and a woman, it would be very dramatic.

Let's take a glimpse into the beating heart of Love:

--"But you have forsaken me and served other gods, so I will no longer save you. Go and cry out to the gods you have chosen. Let them save you when you are in trouble!"

--Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the LORD. And he could bear Israel's misery no longer.

The human race likes to choose its gods, but God is the only god who chose the human race.

The whole time Israel was oppressed, God bore their misery on his own shoulders. His heart was heavy with the weight of their misery, but it was what they had chosen. Israel chose other gods even though God had given them so much and done so much for them so that they would choose him.

Goodbye MySpace

2009-02-14T23:45:00.003-06:00

MySpace

You were good to me while it lasted. In the beginning, you were fresh and exciting. But, well, all that I enjoyed about you at the start has now become overwhelming. Please excuse my inability to stand under your weight any longer. It's not you; it's me.... except for the part about how you have ads galore that feed my mind filth, I can't see the forest for the trees on your homepage, and you are not respectable in the eyes of society (at least the kind I'm in now) anymore. So really... it is you. Well, maybe it's that we're just not compatible anymore.

Anyways, MySpace, please accept the fact that you will no longer be my medium of written thought expression. I am giving that place to Blogger. Ok, yes; there is another. Consider this your warning: I will be taking back what I gave to you and giving it to Blogger. I would rather it that way. You need to know I'll take only piece by piece. Please don't be offended; I think this is what's best.

Melody

Support Raising: A Passionate Experience

2008-11-09T18:04:00.002-06:00

My friend, Veronica, and I are going to Chile, South America for 11 months to work with university students and show them Truth. The great potential in them is untapped in the area we are going. We're support raising right now, meaning that we cannot and do not want to go alone. In order to get there, we are giving others the opportunity to become a part of our team, Team Chile as we like to call it, financially and prayerfully. Now, before this process of support raising, I was nervous. My thought was that it was going to be draining. However, experience has proved me otherwise. On the contrary, raising support has been uplifting and encouraging; and every time we share with someone our vision for Chile, our passion is renewed and our eyes refocused on God. In fact, our goal, when we meet with someone, is not to get money; our goal is to share our vision with passion and clarity. We can meet our goal every time and allow the Holy Spirit to do the real work. For anyone thinking of support raising: don't be scared. It's really great if you have the right attitude!